I feel that most of us women have forgotten this fact about ourselves – we’ve gotten so used to not knowing what we are made of that it has made us delusional and under confident, resulting in making us forget not only our strengths but also our responsibilities. The stresses of this country have left us so exhausted that we’ve forgotten to actually live, we are ‘not’ dead, but aren’t alive either.
Women of Pakistan today are losing themselves to subliminal prejudice and emotional harassment, not only by members of opposite gender but from that of the same too; and it’s not even only the people, it’s the media and very much the whole society – who have made living “simple”, being independent or a being a young mother deciding to devote to children and family at the cost of her career, such a looked down upon phenomenon that women now are trying to prove themselves by slaving to un attainable fashion and lifestyle idols and by subjugating their values to that of the stronger ones around them.
Remind yourself to feel good about who you are, be proud of whatever you are doing, if you are single working woman keep your head up and don’t let non-working or married women intimidate you and vice versa.
Educated young mothers feel obliged to stretching themselves to balance a full time job and responsibilities of motherhood, primarily because soon after becoming mothers they lose all credibility to have an opinion on important matters and since they devote so much time and patience to the little people in their lives, they feel that they have lost themselves. Having a job makes them feel important, gives them the break they need for themselves and above all makes them feel worthwhile again and of course there is money too.
I, at times feel that motherhood is such a difficult and demanding job that half of us just want to run away from its stresses and calm our nerves down, primarily when the required family support is missing. In midst of achieving that balance we find ourselves in a whirlwind of work responsibilities and those at home – and at times can’t do justice to either. It’s difficult - seriously it is! Believe it or not motherhood is, has always been and will always be the most difficult job ever; unpredictable work hours, extreme responsibility and complete accountability are a few dimensions of this role.
I am not against working mothers; all I am trying to say is that even though it’s healthy to have a career and one’s own life’s agenda apart from the children duties, it is extremely important that mothers give ample quality time and consideration to their children lives too. Set down your boundaries, lay down your rules and know that only you have the power to do it all, that what you have been trusted with is the most important of jobs and as in others quarters of life you must give your hundred percent.
We can talk about our superiority in terms of changing the world or help strengthening the economy or even obtaining majority seats in the government but our actual superiority is, has been and will always be the fact that we can literally “MAKE” people, that we are literally capable of developing generations. We are not only designed to give birth but also to develop sound and strong personalities, the impacts of which trickle down generations through generations.
We probably cannot change our society and the limitations imposed on us by virtue of being the residents of a third world country, but we can definitely change ourselves and our reactions to these factors for the better. So, let’s feel good about ourselves, let’s celebrate being women, let no one make us forget how special we are, how important our work as women is, as mothers is and invest in our children. Let’s make them the change agents for tomorrow, make them good human beings who will change our society for future generations to come, do not poison their hearts by rubbing in the negativities of life and try to make them healthy positive people who have faith in themselves, in life, in their capabilities, and most importantly in their religion.
Educate your children, make your sons gentlemen and daughters benevolent home makers; don’t give in to the flashy shiny arrogance that is destroying us as a nation, as Muslims. Don’t give them superiority complexes, don’t spoil them, make them capable of standing up for themselves but also teach them when to compromise, don’t make them forget who they really are, teach them to empathize, to be proud of what their core strengths and weaknesses are and teach them how to manage themselves and others around them, cause this is the only way you’d be doing justice to yourself and all of humanity.