I know a person who says emotions are the crux of all human issues. They are what make this world a sad place - ‘no emotions no pain’ she says.
Then there is this other person I know, who says that the seed of all life’s troubles are expectations. You don’t expect you don’t get hurt. I hear them both but I am not sure if I agree with either. Yes expectations and emotions may bring us pain, despair, heartache, tears and hopelessness but isn’t this all what makes us human, makes us alive, makes us appreciate the small things life and celebrate the absence of the above mentioned? I tried not to expect because it really hurts when things don’t go as you want them to. I tried not to get emotionally involved with things – I tried but I am not sure if I fully succeeded. The reason – cause I am human, I may be able to block certain unwanted memories, events and people – but bottling them up doesn’t help in the longer run. You are bound to break down and when you do, it gets even more difficult to gather yourself up. Instead if you let yourself get hurt, let your tears flow, talk to people about your emotions, dont be afraid to show that you are weak - you will end up feeling mush more stronger. By talking about your issues I don’t mean to whine all the time and talk trouble and pity yourself. That all is way more dangerous than bottling it up! I guess what I am trying to say is that look at those million positives that life throws at you – whenever encountered with an issue or a problem take a step back, analyze it a bit, see if the thing bothering you is something in your hands to maneuver and then act accordingly. There will be things you’d be able to change change them! But trust me there will be more things you will not be able to change, the best thing to do in that scenario is to alter your own behavior. Cause trust me when I say, it is the easiest thing to do and it will gives you peace – It may seem unreal but the best thing to do in a situation where you have absolutely no control over anything that’s happening you can control is your own self - Your own actions, your own level of expectations, your perception about yourself and others, your capabilities and above all your emotions. So what if things didn’t turn out the way you wanted - are you focusing too much on what could have been and miss seeing what is? As long as the breath comes and goes, feel this life, know that each passing moment is each moment less of this world - this beautiful beautiful world! which no doubt is depressing as hell most of the times but turns into heaven with a smallest of moments that touches your heart. A good piece of music you can relate to, or a spontaneous crazy idea which crosses your mind suddenly n u break into a wide smile or a joke you remember or the look you see in your child’s eyes when he sees you or the beautiful weather, the sun shining brightly or that blissful sudden gush of light breeze on a hot summer day. I tell you there is so much to be positive about in this life - ONLY if let your self stop for a moment and watch. Trust me on this! :) I love books – I love everything about them. From new shiny yummy smelling books to torn vintage enchanting books, I love them all. But I am more of a fantasy reader – reality I find a bit too hard to swallow.
Today I got thinking about one of my all time favorite book series “The Faraway Tree” - a series of popular novels for children by Enid Blyton. The titles in the series are The Enchanted Wood (1939), The Magic Faraway Tree (1943), The Folk of the Faraway Tree (1946) and Up the Faraway Tree (1951). I re-read the entire series 2 years back all during my pregnancy and it brought back all the childhood memories – the days when I use to believe in magic, dreamt about the endless possibilities that huge enchanting tree held, the innocence of characters and my love for the woods and fairies and all the little adorable creatures. Can’t wait to start reading to my little angel – I believe children should have their fair share of innocence, their imaginations are too precious to be wasted they should be allowed to believe in magic, in possibilities and above all in innocence. As Willi Wonka says in Charlie and the Chocolate factory "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." So, lets commit to make our children believers and teach them the value of faith and hope - these assets are what will get them through the tough realitites of life. and what better way to open their minds like that of inculcating the healthy habit of reading. Happy reading everyone - enjoy the magic! There is this phenomenon I believe in and have been thinking about to put in words. It is about the power of mind on our destiny. Do we ‘think’ our lives through? Is it possible that we really are who we think we are? Is the phenomenon of the ‘energies’ any true? What is the reality of Reiki? Are we really capable of dictating our destinies based on our faith and belief? Is hope a way of inculcating energies to work for our betterment? What is the limit of positivity? Where is that thin line separating denial from recognizing the truth? What is that point where we mistake of being hopeful and fall prey to learned helplessness or become blinded by the extreme fear of unforeseen decision outcomes?
"A fair amount of caution is sensible. Only a fool would be without it. But to listen to one's fears when seeking guidance is quite another matter. Consider cautiously, but take counsel from your beliefs, not your fears – and you will average out a lot better in life" I am a practicing Muslim (Alhamdulillah) and believe that this universe and life is all a creation of Almighty Allah. Allah has created everything to acute perfection – so like the clock work of moon and sun, night and day, the changing weathers and times, did he also put our destinations in action? Islam talks about hope and faith - pillars of optimism. In fact “hopelessness” is considered a grave sin. And hopelessness is a direct outcome of lack of faith – but how does one decipher the limit of hope to the point of becoming ignorant to reality? I do believe in the theory of brain power molding our lives in a positive or negative manner. Look around you and observe how people survive in various situations, what makes them survive? Don’t we all have the same biological structures? Then how come some people survive in extreme physical conditions and others can’t sustain even the slightest of difficulty? “The more I see people the more I’m impressed by their astounding ability to meet tough situations. And their ability to rebound is fantastic. There is a built in comeback power in you that should never be underestimated” In my opinion the only thing that differs from person to person is the brain – the organ that regulates all actions and reactions, the organ that works on learned behavior and the only organ that has the power to differentiate from right and wrong. Ever heard a phrase “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? This simply shows diversity which is a direct outcome of differing brain activity, which is made of experiences and life’s happenings and ultimately our reactions to them. So think positive! Stay hopeful, stay happy and keep strong faith – I tell you ones who believe are the ones who can and the ones who will! "whether you think you can or you think you can't - you are right!" Every human needs to have a quiet centre within his mind. You dont need to worry about confusion if you have inner quiet. and if you can achieve this, you can talk to god and trust your every instinct - as you will know exactly what he is saying to you.
I am a first time mom! :D Excited, overwhelmed, un-nerved, jittery, scared, exhausted, under slept, over stimulated and above all Paranoid! I like to think I am in control - but well I am not! The constant war between what I want to achieve, at the pace I want to achieve it and the strength my weak body has….leaves me breathless..! I for one like to be in control, the one thing motherhood, cannot promise; in fact, absolutely negates.
Simple things which I never really paid heed to have become absolute luxuries, like watching TV, talking on the phone undisturbed, sleeping or taking a bath let alone going to the washroom; things that we usually take for granted, have now become regular items on my to do list. Words like long and shower are no longer part of one sentence - except for of course in one way “It’s been so LONG I took a SHOWER!”!! The first year is absolutely a roller coaster, where you as a first time mom are struggling to hold on to the ride that life has suddenly transformed into. When I was expecting, I thought pregnancy was the toughest part, but now I know that was the easiest! As long as the child is inside you, enjoy it! My baby is one year old now, and I thought THAT was the toughest bit, but as I see her enter the toddler years I realize once again that, I was wrong, as long as your child barely moves and cries ONLY for food and burps enjoy it! … and I guess if you ask other moms with older kids they will confirm that there is absolutely no EASY time with a child. Every day is a battle, every day is a juggling routine, every day there are tears and everyday there are giggles; but what is most important to remember and cherish is, that no matter how tired and helpless you feel at times, no matter how many times in a day you feel like you will break, that you cant take it anymore, before you know it these years will be over and you will yearn to have these times yet once again! So my advice to all the new moms out there is to enjoy this time as much as you can, cause it will be over before you know it. It’s only a matter of a few years when they become independent and get engrossed in their own lives and you start feeling like a by stander watching in disbelief that this independent little person was once a tiny little helpless baby you could cuddle and hold whenever you wanted and however you wanted. So try and put other less important things away for a couple of years because honestly you WILL get around to doing them someday, but if you let go of these precious moments, you might never get them again! "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
"Everything in this room is edible. Even I'm edible. But, that would be called canibalism. It is looked down upon in most societies." Willy Wonka "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams." Willy Wonka Credit: http://mariamkt.blogspot.com/2011/02/i-dedicate-this-morning-to-roald-dahl.html My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going,
I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. Came across a silly silly dream i use to have 3 years back - funny how our dreams change overtime but its always great to dream!
Always dream big, i strongly believe some bit of it always comes true!! :D Friday, August 22, 2008 "My dream job is the one where I’ll be the boss (naturally!), have my own room –a beautiful room, designed to perfection :D , will have a car (chauffer driven of course, who wants to drive in this traffic!) …. Will have a personal secretary… a team of loyal employees (who love me and worship me…*dreamy sigh*) my boss (owner of the huge company, totally adores me …thinks of me as the best employee ever) huge salary and 9 to 5 dot ….and yea the work will be something I really like doing (that I still need to figure out!!)….my work place will have a well equipped gym and a day care center …… I will travel (first class) around the world looking all professional and super hot! Having sophisticated meetings at the most exquisite places of the world :D " Life is made of moments - happy moments, not so happy moments, slow moments and relatively fast ones. All of our life can be divided into these four types, loosing even one of them leaves us incomplete and craving for more. We all have dreams, wants, capabilities and our own sets of limitations. Very often we succumb to our limitations and loose our real selves and forget what we, as women are capable of achieving, which in my opinion is a grave sin. Because being a woman and not being “all that” is just simply wrong – we are made to juggle multiple glass balls singlehandedly, and if we don’t we are wasting ourselves.
I feel that most of us women have forgotten this fact about ourselves – we’ve gotten so used to not knowing what we are made of that it has made us delusional and under confident, resulting in making us forget not only our strengths but also our responsibilities. The stresses of this country have left us so exhausted that we’ve forgotten to actually live, we are ‘not’ dead, but aren’t alive either. Women of Pakistan today are losing themselves to subliminal prejudice and emotional harassment, not only by members of opposite gender but from that of the same too; and it’s not even only the people, it’s the media and very much the whole society – who have made living “simple”, being independent or a being a young mother deciding to devote to children and family at the cost of her career, such a looked down upon phenomenon that women now are trying to prove themselves by slaving to un attainable fashion and lifestyle idols and by subjugating their values to that of the stronger ones around them. Remind yourself to feel good about who you are, be proud of whatever you are doing, if you are single working woman keep your head up and don’t let non-working or married women intimidate you and vice versa. Educated young mothers feel obliged to stretching themselves to balance a full time job and responsibilities of motherhood, primarily because soon after becoming mothers they lose all credibility to have an opinion on important matters and since they devote so much time and patience to the little people in their lives, they feel that they have lost themselves. Having a job makes them feel important, gives them the break they need for themselves and above all makes them feel worthwhile again and of course there is money too. I, at times feel that motherhood is such a difficult and demanding job that half of us just want to run away from its stresses and calm our nerves down, primarily when the required family support is missing. In midst of achieving that balance we find ourselves in a whirlwind of work responsibilities and those at home – and at times can’t do justice to either. It’s difficult - seriously it is! Believe it or not motherhood is, has always been and will always be the most difficult job ever; unpredictable work hours, extreme responsibility and complete accountability are a few dimensions of this role. I am not against working mothers; all I am trying to say is that even though it’s healthy to have a career and one’s own life’s agenda apart from the children duties, it is extremely important that mothers give ample quality time and consideration to their children lives too. Set down your boundaries, lay down your rules and know that only you have the power to do it all, that what you have been trusted with is the most important of jobs and as in others quarters of life you must give your hundred percent. We can talk about our superiority in terms of changing the world or help strengthening the economy or even obtaining majority seats in the government but our actual superiority is, has been and will always be the fact that we can literally “MAKE” people, that we are literally capable of developing generations. We are not only designed to give birth but also to develop sound and strong personalities, the impacts of which trickle down generations through generations. We probably cannot change our society and the limitations imposed on us by virtue of being the residents of a third world country, but we can definitely change ourselves and our reactions to these factors for the better. So, let’s feel good about ourselves, let’s celebrate being women, let no one make us forget how special we are, how important our work as women is, as mothers is and invest in our children. Let’s make them the change agents for tomorrow, make them good human beings who will change our society for future generations to come, do not poison their hearts by rubbing in the negativities of life and try to make them healthy positive people who have faith in themselves, in life, in their capabilities, and most importantly in their religion. Educate your children, make your sons gentlemen and daughters benevolent home makers; don’t give in to the flashy shiny arrogance that is destroying us as a nation, as Muslims. Don’t give them superiority complexes, don’t spoil them, make them capable of standing up for themselves but also teach them when to compromise, don’t make them forget who they really are, teach them to empathize, to be proud of what their core strengths and weaknesses are and teach them how to manage themselves and others around them, cause this is the only way you’d be doing justice to yourself and all of humanity. |
AboutBlatantly Resilient,
|